Use Your Unhappiness for Personal Growth

The memo I didn’t get was “to use your unhappiness for personal growth.” Question: do you consider yourself happy or unhappy? So many folks would say unhappy. I was definitely in that group for a great portion of my Life.

It wasn’t that good things weren’t happening, I mean, there many many milestones reached, many dreams realized. But since I was always worrying about how long they would last, where’s the next job coming from, I missed out on truly absorbing the moments.

Keeping your eye on what happened in the past or what’s coming in the future robs you of a true Present. I was in such states of worry all the damn time there was no way I could be happy.

But when I began to realize that the only thing between my unhappiness and my happiness was me, that’s when I began to change things and hence, enhance my personal growth. I am firmly in that group of folk that consider themselves happy YAY!

Ok. So You’re Unhappy. What Now?

The one thing you wanna do is to ask yourself is some questions…

Am I using my unhappiness as a crutch to keep me from fully engaging in what my Life could truly be?

Am I allowing this way of being to stop me from taking risks?

Am I allowing my fears to keep me in this state?

What exactly am I unhappy about? Is my unhappiness rooted in things I want changed? And if you do know ask yourself: is it within my power to change the things I want changed? This is a BIGGIE.

Do you know and realize that the ONLY things and people you can change IS yourself?

When I got THAT memo and began to act upon it, boy, that was a seeeeerious GAME CHANGER.

That’s why if you truly want your Life situation to change, you’ve to change some things in your mindset. And to do that, you will increase and deepen your personal growth. Doing that will lighten and brighten your outlook. It will change how you see things and how you view the world.

You will no longer be waiting or expecting somebody else or having some thing(s) to make you happy. You may find that unhappiness and happiness are an inner sport, with the starting player and only player being YOU.

Little by little, the cloak you wear of unhappiness will be discarded without you even realizing when that happened. You will feel lighter, care less about what people think or may say about you. The desire to create a more Peaceful airspace around you will increase. You will begin to dance to that inner song that is YOU.

Steps For Shedding The Unhappiness Cloak

As I mentioned earlier, one must begin to do some internal searching, figuring out why you’re unhappy. And it can boil down to something simple like, ‘I say yes when I mean no.’ ‘I feel I have to be all things to all people.’ ‘I can’t do XYZ because…’ because what? Who said? And why did you take that as your Truth?

Doing that deep-dive lets you see that much of the source of you unhappiness lies in accepting what someone else said to be True–your parents and/or other family members, your friends, your boss, your co-workers, the media and social media. The list goes on. None of this contributes to your personal growth or happiness.

Remember, sitting stuck in unhappiness robs You of living the fullness of Your Life. So to recap and to embellish ask yourself:

1- Why am I unhappy in the first place? Don’t worry if you don’t know. Begin to look at some of Your beliefs about things, people, Life and of Yourself. [Short cut to the answer is FEAR of something, for one reason or another].

2- What good is it in continuing to be unhappy? Is that the road to happiness? NOPE.

3- Am I still here because I am afraid of what I’ll find out about myself if I look at why I’m unhappy? What will I be if I let go of being unhappy? We can get very comfortable in our discomfort.

4- Am I ready to step up and take responsibility for myself and claim my happiness even though I may not know what that looks like yet?

5- WAIT. Actually, this should be #1–do I even believe in Happiness for myself or do I think that’s hogwash? And if so, WHY?

Don’t Be A-Scared of Asking The Tough Questions

Sometimes digging deep is scary and can be distasteful. Some think it will take a lifetime to figure out. If you ask Yourself the questions above and Allow whatever occurs to You in this aspect of the Journey to speak from Your Soul and act upon it, things will change for the better. It has to.

Why? Because You will Trust that it will. You will EXPECT it to. I read a quote from Beyoncé that I just loved- she said, and I’m paraphrasing but the gist of it is, ‘when I want something, I know the Earth will open up for me.’

NOW DAMN! That’s walkin’ in yo’ POW-WUH!

Happy Excavating, it’s the window to Your New Life!

While You’re Still Here…

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